Gone
by RT4ever
Summary: Very short, just Carly's thought as she buries someone she loves.
1. Pt 1

Another Repost  
  
Gone- A Carly Vignette  
  
I stand by the gravesite alone; the other mourners have long since left. I watched them bury him; I watched as the casket was lowered into the hole and I watched as the gravediggers covered the wood with earth. I just stood and watched until I could no longer see the casket and then I continued to watch until the hole had been filled and they left, then once again I was alone.  
  
However, I was alone when the mourners were here, although my husband held my hand as I listened to the priest and my children sat next to me; I was alone. I thought I was alone when he stopped talking to me, but I wasn't; he was always out there somewhere. If I ever really needed him he would be there; it was something I never doubted, never questioned.  
  
Now I am alone though, I knew I was alone even before I got the phone call telling me he was dead. He was the love of my life, I probably knew that from the instant I first met him. However, I was too wrapped up in my crazy plans to notice until I saw him with my son. Our son, our life should have been spent together, but instead we had just a few short months, a few perfect moments, so many opportunities lost. Now all I have left are a handful of memories and a few pictures.  
  
My bodyguard watches from a distance, trying to give me space as I deal with my grief. He could be standing right next me though and I would still be alone. I will forever be alone. I haven't cried, not since I felt his soul leave this earth. The moment it was gone, mine was too. I'm empty now, lost in my thoughts, knowing he is gone to me forever. My body will continue simply to take care of my children, but it will only be a shell. My soul is with his, just as it always has been, intertwined.  
  
I have to go now, otherwise they will start to worry. I cannot let them see that this has destroyed me, for they will try to fix the un-fixable. I know that, just as I know that when the day comes for me to die, I will accept it willingly. I crouch to the earth and touch it gently with my fingers, I kiss the rose I have been holding and lay it on the dirt. "Goodbye Jason" is all I say before I stand and walk away. 


	2. Pt 2

I wrote more to the story because of the requests I got for a continuation.  
  
Part Two  
  
Carly~  
  
I hate driving in the rain more than anything. My fear of driving has nearly completely subsided in these past eighteen years since I first began to drive on a regular basis. It is only at night when the rain is coming down in sheets and I can barely see two feet in front of my car that I get scared. Now conditions like that would scare anyone, but they scare me for a different reason.  
  
It was a warm day in April thirteen years ago, it was one of those weeks you realized Global Warming was real as temperatures soared into the nineties. It was humid and muggy all day from the rain we had been having. After dinner Sonny decided to take the kids out for ice cream, I stayed home not wanting to go out into the heat that made my clothes stick to my back. He called around seven thirty to tell me he was stopping off to see Luke and he didn't know how long he would be. The rain started again shortly after that.  
  
I was lying down on the sofa petting Sophie, our fat, white cat when suddenly it felt like I'd been hit in the stomach. I sat up quickly as bile rose up my throat and I knew something was wrong. I started to cry and shake, but I couldn't figure out why. I knew it wasn't Sonny and the kids, they were likely to stay at Luke's until nine or ten. I ran upstairs to grab clothing; I had to figure out what was wrong. I was in our room when my jewelry box caught my eye. Something was shining and it blinded me for a moment. Jason's ring was lying on top of everything. That was when I knew he was gone. That was when I knew I was alone.  
  
I must have sat on my bed for at least a half an hour crying and begging God for it not to be true. Then the phone rang and I composed myself enough to answer it because I knew it was about him. It was Amy telling me Jason was dead. He was at General Hospital, he had been in the same town as me, he had been so close. I quickly got dressed and still clutching the diamond ring, I ran out to the hallway where Francis was standing guard and I told him we had to go.  
  
They'd left Jason in the ER room he'd been brought into as they desperately fought to revive him. Amy stood next to me as I summoned my courage to go in. She told me that he was going through a green light when a speeding car couldn't stop in time for their red light because of the rain-slicked roads and they collided. She told me his injuries had been too severe and there was no way they could save him even though they tried their hardest. My name was the person they had to contact in case of emergency. I thanked Amy and told her to thank all the doctors and everyone who tried to save him as I walked into the room.  
  
IHe didn't look dead, he looked beautiful./I He was wearing his helmet so there was no damage done to his beautiful face and they had been kind enough to cover his once perfect body with a sheet. I touch his face, I touch his cheek and I feel his smooth skin becoming cold. "Where was he?" I ask  
  
Amy who is watching me from the back of the room quietly states "Harbor View Drive and Kings Street."  
  
"He was coming to see me" With that realization, the pain cuts into me again. "You were coming to see me" I say crying as I lean my head into his "You were coming to see me. Oh god, I love you so much. Jason…Oh god, Jason don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."  
  
I stayed in the room with him for about twenty minutes, then I realized that he was truly was gone and that it was over. The pain of his death and the emptiness has stayed with me all these years, although my family believes me to be fine. On nights like this though, the pain comes back to me as intense as it was all those years ago. The dull ache and void that I live with every second of my life becomes an intense throbbing pain that destroys me.  
  
Suddenly I see a flash of bright lights in front of me and I turn the wheel on instinct. That and the sound of a large crash is all I remember before everything goes black.  
  
I try to move my head, but I feel a sharp pain. Rain is coming in through my broken windows, the air bag hangs limply down my steering wheel having been deflated by the broken glass. I go to grab my cell phone to call 911, but my broken ribs prevent that and I pant and curse with pain.  
  
"Hey are you okay?" a voice calls to me from outside of my car. "I saw the accident, can I help?" He curses as he sees me bleeding. "Ma'am can you talk?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Are you in pain ma'am?"  
  
My concerned citizen is a moron, does he think I'm in pain "What do you think I'm covered in blood, I just went off a freakin cliff"  
  
"Hey no need to snap, I'm trying to be helpful"  
  
I know that voice; I've missed that voice "Jason" I say as I turn my head ignoring the pain  
  
"Hey there beautiful," he says smiling standing in the pouring rain next to me, his white shirt is drenched "miss me?"  
  
"Oh god yes"  
  
"Hey lady, lady" the kid calls back out as I pass back out  
  
  
  
He soft caress awakens me "Am I dead?" I ask him as I stare into his eyes; he is sitting in the seat next to me.  
  
"Not yet" he says softly  
  
"I will be soon won't I" it's not a question but a statement.  
  
He nods his response  
  
"I'm not afraid" I'm amazed by that fact  
  
"I know you're not"  
  
"You were coming home when you died"  
  
"I couldn't stay away, I tried to but I couldn't."  
  
"You were so close, just one more block."  
  
"I know, I thought about that as I was lying on the asphalt. I just wanted to say I was sorry for leaving you, for letting you feel that pain. I wanted to see you one more time."  
  
"It's okay, we have forever now." The pain suddenly leaves and I know my time is near "Hold my hand" I say to the angel sitting next to me. He does and I slip out of this word and into eternity with him. At last I am at peace.  
  
Okay now obviously this time it truly is the end and I just want to say thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. 


End file.
